Honesty.

It has always been my greatest desire to be an honest man, while I am not guilty of any deep, dark and hidden sin; I have to admit to breaking the law on occason.

When we were out of fire wood once I snuck back into the forrest and cut firewood without a permit, and several times I have poached deer, antelope and sage chickens when the food larder became low. It would be easy to justify it by saying that my large family was suffering, but I believe that there is no justification sufficient to obsolve me from the guilt of not conducting my life in an honest manner.

It has been the nature of my employment to be forced to rub shoulders with bad men. I knew they were bad men, they knew that I knew they were bad men, but I have been able to deal with them in an honorable manner and treat them with respect until it became impossible to do so. As long as a man does not break the law in front of me we can maintain a relationship, but these men have never doubted that I would arrest them and prosecute them if I became aware that they broke the law.

In 1995 the daughter of a fellow Deputy Sheriff was kicked in the head by a horse and severely injured. The day the story of her injury came out in the local paper I received a call from an outlaw that I knew. When I call him an outlaw I mean that he operated just above, or just out of sight of the law. This man had lead a very interesting life, and many things about this man I truly admired. He was the most knowledgeable person I have ever met about the Constitution of the United States. Most of his problems with the law stemmed from his deliberate attempt to not pay taxes, and he had spent Federal prison time over tax evasion. I had always kept this man at arms distance because I feared that any association I had with him would eventually garner trouble for me, so I must say that I was surprised when he called out of the blue after not having contact with him for a number of years.

On the phone he expressed concern over the injury of the Deputy's daughter and he asked me how he could help. I told him that what the Deputy needed right then was money, and so he stated that would like to donate $1,000.00 to the collection fund for the daughter's medical expenses. Against my better judgement I accepted his donation knowing how desperate the Deputy needed money for his daughter. The man advised me that he was flying to Arizona that day and that he would stop at our rural airport and give me the money.

About an hour later his plane landed at the airport and I met him there. He handed me a plain manila envelope with exactly $1,000.00 in it. I thanked him for the money and he left on his trip to Arizona. Immediately I drove to the home of my Deputy friend and gave him the money, and explained to him from whom it came. He was very grateful for the money that would help him with his daughter's medical expenses. The Deputies daughter eventually healed from her head injury and I did not give the money much thought.

One day I received a call from a U.S. Customs Investigator who was an old friend, and he asked me if he and an FBI Agent could meet with me in my office in town. Not suspecting anything and thinking that they were probably there to talk about a case I happily agreed to meet them there.

When I met the FBI Agent I soon found out that I was the subject of an investigation. It seems that my acquaintance who had donated the $1,000.00 to benefit my friend's daughter had been smuggling large quantities of marijuana into the United States. One of the mans employees was caught with the load, and it seems that he wanted to make a deal and was willing to give up a crooked cop.....me. I was devastated! I could not believe that this was happening to me. I carefully explained what had transpired with reference to the money being donated to the Deputy, but it was soon plain to me that this FBI Agent was trying to make a name for himself by busting a crooked cop.

I asked the Agent during the interview what the employee was accusing me of doing and he stated, "He says that you were paid $500.00 for turning your head when they crossed a load of marijuana through your area." I started laughing at the FBI Agent and told him, "You've got to be kidding me, if I was going to sell my badge it would not be for $500.00, it would be somewhere in the area of $2.5 million dollars because I would have to leave here, they would own me!"

I continued, "There is ony one problem with that theory, nothing I know, or nothing I could do for them would be worth $2.5 millions dollars! I am not very smart because if I was I would doing something else that paid better, but I am smart enough to not do something as stupid as taking a paltry $500.00. After we argued and talked for over two hours I was beginning to lose my patience with this arrogant FBI Agent and so I told him this, "You seem to be certain that I am bad cop, and it has become obvious to me that nothing I can say to you will convince you that I am innocent, so I am going to propose a deal. I want you to contact the Assistant U.S. Attorney and tell him I am willing to take a polygraph test at the expense of the FBI, and then if I pass the polygraph test I want this matter dropped once and for all."

After huddling with the U.S. Attorney on the phone the deal was struck and a date was set for the polygraph test. I endured one of the worst experiences it has ever been my lot to endure. They flew an FBI polygrapher out from Washngton D.C. to conduct the polygraph test, and this man had to be the most naive cop it has ever been my displeasure to meet. I endured questioning about every aspect of my life that had absolutely no relevance to the charges, but the one that I laughed about the most was the one in which he asked me if I have ever had relations with known criminals.

After I stopped laughing I said, "Yeah, I'm a cop, it is my job to know who the bad guys are, I'm around them every day, we live in the same town, some of them are my neighbors!" He seemed shocked by this answer, I believe that he is like the vast majority of Federal police officers who enforce the law without having to dirty their hands with the low lifes most street cops deal with daily. Ah, the joys of theoretical law enforcement. To make a long story shorter I passed the polygraph test and true to their word the accusations made by the FBI were dropped. This was one of the most humiliating experiences I have ever had to endure, and the FBI dropped even lower in my estimation than they were before this event happened.